meandering from here to there.

a lot of things happen lately. days go by too fast, almost, but i try to enjoy every minute of them. it's like i barely have enough time for myself. the decision of letting go off my hunger for love ( you know, that love a woman is supposed to feel towards a man or the other way 'round. ) was the best i have done yet. you know, i love life so much more now. i don't pressure myself anymore. i don't care about my being strange anymore. i am. it's a fact. and it's exactly what i want. i want to be myself, so my decision was easy. i feel nauseaous when being around guys, have to choke myself down. and i hate this feeling. never knowing what they think about me. and then realizing that they don't even do think about me in a special way. it hurts. it hurt. but i don't want it to hurt me anymore. so that's it. enough. just enjoying my time here on earth. i have enough love in my life. and if this love will be gone someday, if death comes and takes my dear ones, then i will know that it was a good time we had on earth. concentrating on these relationships is much more worth than waiting for one that may never come.

nici and me.

soaking wet after a small thunderstorm.

another animal park visit with my dearest l.!

picknicking!

an old wolf, blind on one eye.

chewing bread.

wild boar piglets!

dead rabbit for the wild cats.

being a cool cat.

or a chill out cat.

the nutrias have a new home! now you can examine them so much better!

baby nutria!

it was so adorable!

foot love with l.

and lying under redwoods is the best thing ever. these trees are so majestic and so full of life. i really want to visit america in the future and visit a whole lot more of these gigantic guys. because the ones we were lying under were relatively small and young.

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may '20: seeking modernism.

super pink rhododendron buds emerging! i start off this post with some flower images to appreciate and praise the time of spring, especially the month of may, which is the most abundant spring month to me personally. all the blossoms, all the fresh greens amass during may, and my heart and mind are hardly ever able to not frolick & gush about it all! for this post i am returning to one walk i did with the sole purpose to find a special mid-century villa in königstein ( which would ultimately prove to be a failure - i did find it, but i couldn't approach it properly to have a good look at it and only ever saw a tiny bit of the garden/forest side ). the whole walk was not a letdown, though, as i did find some other mid-century & brutalism gems and thoroughly enjoyed walking through the old spa town in the taunus mountains. rhododendron shrubs yield all kinds of different blossoms in myriad colours, they are easy to breed, therefore a wide variety can be found all over the wor...

autumn impressions.

a selected assortment of autumn related things. ( or things that don't fit into a 'bigger picture' ) i will get around to posting my autumn vacation photos as well. my parents and me visited france a second time and i think it was almost as wonderful as the first time. but i'll get to that soon. moth in front of a vinyl shop window. i bet you know who's smile it is that strikes at you from the record. elvis! i went mushroom hunting again, this time with jasmin, the best mushroom finder i have :) but we didn't have a lot of time together this past autumn, i am very sad to admit this. she's one of our apprentices in the serving area in our market, but recently she's on exchange in a different outlet until january. but soon we'll have her back and our sporadic meetings will stop being sporadic. i think times like these make me realize that there's something worth living for. mostly my life is very grey and i'm so thankful to s...

of dragons & critters and yin & yang kittens.

my cat shadow is a very prolific cat and gives birth to baby sweethearts annually. we always let them grow up until they're old enough to be given away. growing up in a huge garden where they can roam around freely - isn't that the best way to grow up? it's always a joy to visit my parents and my cat in that time of the year. i have also included some pictures of a little rhine trip i made in the middle of may. and the occasional random ones that didn't fit somewhere. rhine wood dragon. sitting on the rhine beach enjoying the beautiful day. my stone collection of the day. ( i seriously have a lot of stones in my home. i love to collect them! ) the river rhine near eltville. random skull assortment ( shot this at the naxoshalle in frankfurt - i was there for a japanese movie festival ) rosey roses. they also smelled heavenly. raindrops on my window. chameleon tail. i adore spirals. baby kittens drinking momma m...

ghost of nature.

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