meandering from here to there.

a lot of things happen lately. days go by too fast, almost, but i try to enjoy every minute of them. it's like i barely have enough time for myself. the decision of letting go off my hunger for love ( you know, that love a woman is supposed to feel towards a man or the other way 'round. ) was the best i have done yet. you know, i love life so much more now. i don't pressure myself anymore. i don't care about my being strange anymore. i am. it's a fact. and it's exactly what i want. i want to be myself, so my decision was easy. i feel nauseaous when being around guys, have to choke myself down. and i hate this feeling. never knowing what they think about me. and then realizing that they don't even do think about me in a special way. it hurts. it hurt. but i don't want it to hurt me anymore. so that's it. enough. just enjoying my time here on earth. i have enough love in my life. and if this love will be gone someday, if death comes and takes my dear ones, then i will know that it was a good time we had on earth. concentrating on these relationships is much more worth than waiting for one that may never come.

nici and me.

soaking wet after a small thunderstorm.

another animal park visit with my dearest l.!

picknicking!

an old wolf, blind on one eye.

chewing bread.

wild boar piglets!

dead rabbit for the wild cats.

being a cool cat.

or a chill out cat.

the nutrias have a new home! now you can examine them so much better!

baby nutria!

it was so adorable!

foot love with l.

and lying under redwoods is the best thing ever. these trees are so majestic and so full of life. i really want to visit america in the future and visit a whole lot more of these gigantic guys. because the ones we were lying under were relatively small and young.

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may '20: seeking modernism.

super pink rhododendron buds emerging! i start off this post with some flower images to appreciate and praise the time of spring, especially the month of may, which is the most abundant spring month to me personally. all the blossoms, all the fresh greens amass during may, and my heart and mind are hardly ever able to not frolick & gush about it all! for this post i am returning to one walk i did with the sole purpose to find a special mid-century villa in königstein ( which would ultimately prove to be a failure - i did find it, but i couldn't approach it properly to have a good look at it and only ever saw a tiny bit of the garden/forest side ). the whole walk was not a letdown, though, as i did find some other mid-century & brutalism gems and thoroughly enjoyed walking through the old spa town in the taunus mountains. rhododendron shrubs yield all kinds of different blossoms in myriad colours, they are easy to breed, therefore a wide variety can be found all over the wor...

july '20: lake petersdorf discoveries and a plea against genocide.

the green wild meadows of malchow's sandfeld. in the west of malchow there is a big chunk of forest that spans towards plauer see, a widely 'uncultivated' area these days, but it hasn't always been this way. in my last post i mentioned the nazi munition factory that had been built in these woods, away from prying eyes of their enemies and where they also built an external subcamp for the concentration camp ravensbrück. exactly these woods we explored on a pretty sunny day, betraying the darkness that happened around these parts. isn't it weird that there are places in this world that were built or used by dark forces and horrible regimes and you vist them 80 years later and they are the most peaceful places you can imagine? sometimes my brain can't cope with the contrast of knowing what was in the past and what the present looks and feels like. it definitely leaves me with a strange impression often, kind of like a little sting in my heart and brain that is not ...

the america chronicles '22: austin I - city of the violet crown.

sighted on the way to austin: the texas colorado river . but beware, this is not the iconic colorado river ( 2.334 km long ) that has its source in the rocky mountains and confluences in the gulf of california, flowing through the grand canyon and other magnificent landscapes along the way, but this is texas' very own colorado river with a length of 1.387 km starting in the llano estacado plains in northwestern texas, and eventually ending up in the gulf of mexico at matagorda bay . why there are two colorado rivers in the US, i really don't know 😅 my guess is, that they were named by two people in different times, not knowing of the other's colorado river discovery. we'll meet the texas colorado river again in austin, so i will probably bestow more information on you eventually ;D a random road squirrel, also found on the way to austin. austin is about 187 miles ( 300 km ) away from baytown and is situated west from there in central texas. it sits at the foot of th...

ghost of nature.

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