may '17: abundance of bright light.

i get really excited whenever spring arrives and there is the possibility to visit my parents around that time. their garden is always so full of flowers & plants, so full of growth & lush colours that it warms my heart in ways that i would describe as a burst of joy. every year i also realize that i'm longing to return to this garden and imagine moving back into the neighborhood of my parents. i don't know if you ever get this feeling that when you think of your family you wonder how long they still will be able to travel with you, work on the house & garden and generally will be fit & hale. this thought alone makes me want to cringe, because in actuality i don't want my parents to ever die. of course it will be inevitable, but it still hurts a lot to just think about it. and then i think about if it wouldn't be better if i moved back to thuringia, somewhere were i am still close to my parents in case of emergencies, but far away enough to not get tired of them. it would be a possibility, but when i think about it even deeper i never know if this is really what i'd want. which also brings me to another dilemma, because i don't know what i really want and what my heart actually yearns for. i've had this problem forever, since i was a kid. i can't seem to feel into my intuition and find an easy answer, and follow it along, it's impossible. i think my problem is that my brain always finds negative aspects and they will weigh much more than a possible glimpse of happiness that isn't even guaranteed to happen. i know this is the wrong way to think about it, and i tried to overcome the fear & anxiety my brain is plaguing me with, but at the end of the day my brain wins over my heart everytime. i realize this is a way of life no one should consider for themselves, because of course, without risk you will never gain something. but what can i do to shut off my brain & follow my 'heart' if i don't even believe in my heart being a good advisor? i don't trust it, which is a sad thing to say, especially when your brain is something you don't trust either, right?

this got a little complicated along the way, let's hop onto the visuals.

red poppies & dame's rocket against concrete walls.

beautiful blossom i couldn't identify. i do believe they might be affiliated with pokeberry weed.

i do believe these are carnations.

columbines.

close-up of a red poppy.

and even closer.

snowball tree blossoms.

shadows on the balcony balustrade.

sibirian iris.

another clematis, this time a mostly white one with pink details.

my parent's house.

big fat peonies.

flowering onion blossoms.

i really like the ball form of their florescence.

view into the sky through tree leaves.

the early morning light coming in through the kitchen blinds.

and the hall... i really loved this moment, so quiet & slightly magic.

i also made a walk along the unstrut river with my mother. i love it when nature blazes in spring with all these green explosions.

found a blue-tailed damsel-fly.

meadow crane's bill.

duck family doing a day trip.

this little pond next to the river is probably my favourite place in sömmerda.

another duck mama doing kindergarten work on the lake, this time with much younger ducklings.

overlooking the river again.

one part of the river is used for kayaking as well.

a last view on the little pond from earlier.

may '20: seeking modernism.

super pink rhododendron buds emerging! i start off this post with some flower images to appreciate and praise the time of spring, especially the month of may, which is the most abundant spring month to me personally. all the blossoms, all the fresh greens amass during may, and my heart and mind are hardly ever able to not frolick & gush about it all! for this post i am returning to one walk i did with the sole purpose to find a special mid-century villa in königstein ( which would ultimately prove to be a failure - i did find it, but i couldn't approach it properly to have a good look at it and only ever saw a tiny bit of the garden/forest side ). the whole walk was not a letdown, though, as i did find some other mid-century & brutalism gems and thoroughly enjoyed walking through the old spa town in the taunus mountains. rhododendron shrubs yield all kinds of different blossoms in myriad colours, they are easy to breed, therefore a wide variety can be found all over the wor...

july '20: lake petersdorf discoveries and a plea against genocide.

the green wild meadows of malchow's sandfeld. in the west of malchow there is a big chunk of forest that spans towards plauer see, a widely 'uncultivated' area these days, but it hasn't always been this way. in my last post i mentioned the nazi munition factory that had been built in these woods, away from prying eyes of their enemies and where they also built an external subcamp for the concentration camp ravensbrück. exactly these woods we explored on a pretty sunny day, betraying the darkness that happened around these parts. isn't it weird that there are places in this world that were built or used by dark forces and horrible regimes and you vist them 80 years later and they are the most peaceful places you can imagine? sometimes my brain can't cope with the contrast of knowing what was in the past and what the present looks and feels like. it definitely leaves me with a strange impression often, kind of like a little sting in my heart and brain that is not ...

the america chronicles '22: austin I - city of the violet crown.

sighted on the way to austin: the texas colorado river . but beware, this is not the iconic colorado river ( 2.334 km long ) that has its source in the rocky mountains and confluences in the gulf of california, flowing through the grand canyon and other magnificent landscapes along the way, but this is texas' very own colorado river with a length of 1.387 km starting in the llano estacado plains in northwestern texas, and eventually ending up in the gulf of mexico at matagorda bay . why there are two colorado rivers in the US, i really don't know 😅 my guess is, that they were named by two people in different times, not knowing of the other's colorado river discovery. we'll meet the texas colorado river again in austin, so i will probably bestow more information on you eventually ;D a random road squirrel, also found on the way to austin. austin is about 187 miles ( 300 km ) away from baytown and is situated west from there in central texas. it sits at the foot of th...

ghost of nature.

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