april '17: frauenstein - where the cherry trees are.

when boring streets fill with cherry tree blooming magic.

frauenstein is well known for its delicious cherries you can buy every summer at various booths around town. and the little suburb of wiesbaden is truly perfect for little hikes & trips on off days or sundays, offering culinary surprises, beautiful views & old history. taking a walk around the place is always regenerating in some way, no matter which season. i haven't been to frauenstein in blooming season, so on a particularly nice day i decided to check it out and finally have a look at all the blossoming splendor.

this walk through the cherry plantations surely was one of my highlights this year. i just feel so... alive getting to witness the awakening of nature. sometimes i wish it could be like this all year through, just in order i wouldn't have to experience the inevitable downfall again. spring always seems to be full of promises & positivity, but by the time summer rolls around i'm pulled off that emotional mountain only to fall back into a state of immobility & stagnancy.

i wonder if i will ever except the fact that i'm sick. i haven't reached the point yet where i would make that decision to go see a doctor or a therapist. it's just difficult, because i know that there will be times again when the fog on my mind lifts and it feels like the past phase of depression wasn't severe enough to warrant consulting a doctor or therapist. until that high moves on & i am left with the darkness again. it's like a see-saw that rocks from one extreme to the next, sometimes even several times in one day.

looking back on past little adventures always helps me getting a new perspective on current situations, telling me that not everything is dire & useless, even if it is just looking at the normal state of nature to grow, bloom, living, getting back to hibernating & dieing off to be reborn again the next year. i remember that there are good days inbetween the majority of all the bad ones, and it kind of fuels me to survive until this exact time happens again. i try to plan vacations, visits, trips, just in order i have something to look forward to while i waste away the rest of my life in a stagnant position, unable to move forward or to accept that things are not okay in my head.

i wonder how long i will be able to continue this until it'll all break down, but until then i try really hard to overcome the tiredness & show up to meetings, work & life. even if it sucks me dry. but i still feel like i live for experiencing moments like on this day, where i got to see so many blooming trees at once, and feeling a warmth in my heart ( with a slight tinge of wistfulness, which is always the case with me ), that i rarely get to experience when i try to interact with people or struggle my way through the average work day.

i guess you can tell that i'm not having the best time at the moment, and i will leave you now with the pictures telling you a story of a better time.

started my walk in a forest area where the meadows greeted you with luscious green grass.

even the little lippach creek felt more bright & keen than usual.

wood anemone.

greater stitchwort.

new leaves unfurling.

it always makes me kind of happy inside, seeing lime green dots everywhere amongst a sea of browns & greys.

kerria plenifora.

finally passed by the cherry tree plantations. from big trees to small trees, from white to light pink blooming ( or the occasional japanese cherry tree with its hot pink blossoms ) you can spend quite a while taking in this sight.

fluffy dandelion achenes.

japanese skimmia.

view over the valley frauenstein is nestled into.

catched a blackbird in a tree! so proud of this picture.

may '20: seeking modernism.

super pink rhododendron buds emerging! i start off this post with some flower images to appreciate and praise the time of spring, especially the month of may, which is the most abundant spring month to me personally. all the blossoms, all the fresh greens amass during may, and my heart and mind are hardly ever able to not frolick & gush about it all! for this post i am returning to one walk i did with the sole purpose to find a special mid-century villa in königstein ( which would ultimately prove to be a failure - i did find it, but i couldn't approach it properly to have a good look at it and only ever saw a tiny bit of the garden/forest side ). the whole walk was not a letdown, though, as i did find some other mid-century & brutalism gems and thoroughly enjoyed walking through the old spa town in the taunus mountains. rhododendron shrubs yield all kinds of different blossoms in myriad colours, they are easy to breed, therefore a wide variety can be found all over the wor...

autumn impressions.

a selected assortment of autumn related things. ( or things that don't fit into a 'bigger picture' ) i will get around to posting my autumn vacation photos as well. my parents and me visited france a second time and i think it was almost as wonderful as the first time. but i'll get to that soon. moth in front of a vinyl shop window. i bet you know who's smile it is that strikes at you from the record. elvis! i went mushroom hunting again, this time with jasmin, the best mushroom finder i have :) but we didn't have a lot of time together this past autumn, i am very sad to admit this. she's one of our apprentices in the serving area in our market, but recently she's on exchange in a different outlet until january. but soon we'll have her back and our sporadic meetings will stop being sporadic. i think times like these make me realize that there's something worth living for. mostly my life is very grey and i'm so thankful to s...

of dragons & critters and yin & yang kittens.

my cat shadow is a very prolific cat and gives birth to baby sweethearts annually. we always let them grow up until they're old enough to be given away. growing up in a huge garden where they can roam around freely - isn't that the best way to grow up? it's always a joy to visit my parents and my cat in that time of the year. i have also included some pictures of a little rhine trip i made in the middle of may. and the occasional random ones that didn't fit somewhere. rhine wood dragon. sitting on the rhine beach enjoying the beautiful day. my stone collection of the day. ( i seriously have a lot of stones in my home. i love to collect them! ) the river rhine near eltville. random skull assortment ( shot this at the naxoshalle in frankfurt - i was there for a japanese movie festival ) rosey roses. they also smelled heavenly. raindrops on my window. chameleon tail. i adore spirals. baby kittens drinking momma m...

Kyle Studstill said…

I like this kind of inner perspective, even if it's not always bubbly / happy. Maybe especially so, since I value navigating all the complicated things that make up our lives with the strong sense of self that comes only with this kind of inner reflection. It's also my approach to reflect on beautiful things through photo and memory. Thanks for sharing 🔮🙏

www.patientexplorers.com

16 August 2017 at 13:32

baumtod. said…

thank you for your comment. it makes me feel less alone, since many people rarely share their doubts or their insecurities. i wish people would recognize their faults & show others that not everything is so wonderfully bright & beautiful as they sometimes depict it. i realize that things might hurt & make you vulnerable, but i also feel we can only learn from each other & empathize each other if we show people that we have a hard time sometimes to cope with life. sometimes i feel it's so dangerous that we only show our best sides, not only is it problematic to ourselves but also it creates unrealistic expectations for others. nothing is always happy-go-lucky, and everyone has a hardship to carry. denying it might conjure up even more bad habits, and i really don't know if that's what should be happening these days.

16 August 2017 at 17:25

ghost of nature.

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