meandering from here to there.

a lot of things happen lately. days go by too fast, almost, but i try to enjoy every minute of them. it's like i barely have enough time for myself. the decision of letting go off my hunger for love ( you know, that love a woman is supposed to feel towards a man or the other way 'round. ) was the best i have done yet. you know, i love life so much more now. i don't pressure myself anymore. i don't care about my being strange anymore. i am. it's a fact. and it's exactly what i want. i want to be myself, so my decision was easy. i feel nauseaous when being around guys, have to choke myself down. and i hate this feeling. never knowing what they think about me. and then realizing that they don't even do think about me in a special way. it hurts. it hurt. but i don't want it to hurt me anymore. so that's it. enough. just enjoying my time here on earth. i have enough love in my life. and if this love will be gone someday, if death comes and takes my dear ones, then i will know that it was a good time we had on earth. concentrating on these relationships is much more worth than waiting for one that may never come.

nici and me.

soaking wet after a small thunderstorm.

another animal park visit with my dearest l.!

picknicking!

an old wolf, blind on one eye.

chewing bread.

wild boar piglets!

dead rabbit for the wild cats.

being a cool cat.

or a chill out cat.

the nutrias have a new home! now you can examine them so much better!

baby nutria!

it was so adorable!

foot love with l.

and lying under redwoods is the best thing ever. these trees are so majestic and so full of life. i really want to visit america in the future and visit a whole lot more of these gigantic guys. because the ones we were lying under were relatively small and young.

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in the forests.

it's that time of the year again.

july '20: lake petersdorf discoveries and a plea against genocide.

the green wild meadows of malchow's sandfeld. in the west of malchow there is a big chunk of forest that spans towards plauer see, a widely 'uncultivated' area these days, but it hasn't always been this way. in my last post i mentioned the nazi munition factory that had been built in these woods, away from prying eyes of their enemies and where they also built an external subcamp for the concentration camp ravensbrück. exactly these woods we explored on a pretty sunny day, betraying the darkness that happened around these parts. isn't it weird that there are places in this world that were built or used by dark forces and horrible regimes and you vist them 80 years later and they are the most peaceful places you can imagine? sometimes my brain can't cope with the contrast of knowing what was in the past and what the present looks and feels like. it definitely leaves me with a strange impression often, kind of like a little sting in my heart and brain that is not ...

july '20: a boat ride across the lakes.

starting point in malchow harbour. when you're in the mecklenburg lakelands you need to do some of the many boat rides they offer up all around the various lakes! that's really sort of the best way to get a little overview over the many lake destinations and being on the water and feeling the wind on your face ( or the rain 😂 ) and seeing the life in the water and the landscapes around you, it's just special, i think! they often also tell you historic bits and pieces of the lakes, informing you on possible sights you should seek out, too! when you book a tour, you can choose between big day trips crossing several lakes, depending from where you start, or you can choose short rides that last a couple of hours and perhaps even have a theme like a sunset tour or a romance tour ( possibly with romantic dinner for two options 😉 ). from malchow you can choose between two tour providers: reederei pickran & the blau-weiße-flotte . there are tours that include up to 7 lakes, ...

ghost of nature.

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